keeping it real

I am such a stressful person. Not that I cause others stress, well actually, come to think of it I probably do. But I mean that I attract stress. You could say it's drawn to me. It's very draining. Plus I'm waaay to young to be getting crows feet and other unsightly facial lines.

The moment I'm faced with responsibility, a stress avalanche inevitably follows. Like the day our son came into the world?? Ohhh yah. It's been intense ever since. I'm terrified that if I make one wrong move, if I make even the tiniest mistake I will ruin his life. Like, forever.

After over a year of living with this fear every moment of my life, I decided I needed to kick it to the curb. Show it who's boss ya know? One of my many life changes I plan on making this year was to live more stress free. Spontaneity comes to mind. So does positive thinking and enjoying life more. Living in the moment and 'letting go' of things that are out of my control.

I can already feel the glorious release. It could all be in my head, but I feel like Noah is responding positively to the new change as well.

It's all very liberating. Like, the other day, instead of worrying about having my dishes done by the time Noah had his first nap, I played with him all. day. long.

I know. I'm that rebellious.

This is what it looked like...

But do you think I cared? Naw...
I believe Noah was thinking "C'mon Momma, this is getting a little bit ridiculous I mean, you could at least sweep" And I did. But we still had a lot of fun that day. Joy in motherhood comes in the moments right. I really believe that.

Ed has been sick for the past couple of days. It makes me grateful for all the days that he isn't under the weather. I have felt like a single mother with him being out for the count. He doesn't get sick very often, but when he does it's long and hard. It's always particularly hard for me to watch him fight off sickness. He's a man. Aren't they supposed to be strong, and muscly, and like indestructible? In any case, we could sure use your prayers that he returns to his healthy self quickly.

Noah is totally in love with water. It's because of my own insecurities that I haven't taken him to the pool yet. I have been feeling bad about this, especially when I found him like this yesterday.

He was all pruney by the time I took him out.

Who could resist this cute little face I ask you? Not me, that's who. We'll be going to the pool later on this week. He knows just what to do to make me cave.