sometimes I have a bad day

Who am I kidding?? I was trying to be brave in my last post. But this is HARD! Don't get me wrong, I love my life and I love my family. But do you know what I ALSO love? SLEEP. Too bad I haven't really seen it in four weeks. Sleep is for the weak right? RIGHT??

I know my body will survive this, I really do. Lack of sleep will not make me die. However, it will turn me into a person I would rather not be. I don't like to lose my patience with my kids and yell. Yesterday on our way to church I was asking the kids questions (mostly to keep myself awake while driving) and I asked Masyn what a cow says.' Moo' was obviously her answer. She's a smarty that one. So I asked her what Daddy says. 'I love you' was her response. Awww pull at my hear strings! So naturally I asked what Mommy says. 'Mommy says NO!' Awwwwesome. I laughed, but only to keep myself from crying and making my mascara run. Sheesh! Am I that bad?? Am I so sleep deprived that I don't even notice what a bad mother I am being? I'll tell you one thing I DO notice.... the tornado that ripes through my house every.single.day. I notice all the diapers on the floor and the dirty bathtub that I still bathe my kids in because I have no energy to clean it. Don't judge me. I notice the laundry baskets overflowing and the cheesy hand prints on the walls and the millions of fuzzies on my unvacuumed carpet. This part bothers me. Like a lot. I sacrificed my body for nine months, I nearly died bringing a baby into this world, I was in pain and sore for weeks afterwards. All I am asking for is a little sleep in return. Is that too much? Apparently it is :)

Okay enough complaining. I'm okay. I look like a zombie 6 out of 7 days a week and feel like one every second, BUT I am grateful for the beautiful baby that I literally snuggle all night long. She smells soooo good. When she smiles, even in her sleep it melts my heart. I love to see her fat rolls and her legs and arms getting pudgy. We're both sporting the coolest double chins in town, Twins! And I LOVE that she needs me. It's great to feel needed isn't it? For now, I am the one she rely's on for everything. One day that will stop and I will want it back again. My arms will ache to hold her close, I'll miss waking up in the dead of night to her little cry across the room, or bathing her little squirmy body. I will miss the miracles that babies are. I really am so blessed.

So until she starts sleeping (let it be sooner than later!) I will continue to count my blessings that we have three beautiful children who are all healthy and happy. That we have a home that is centered around Christ. And that we have the opportunity to improve and grow through our experiences. At my Mother in Laws office there is a quote that says "Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it" so fitting for my day today. It may not be what I want it to be, but I can make it better by being positive.


And of course, I can't leave without some fun pictures of the 3 loin fruits...

Sibling love

Noah's Movember 'stash is coming in nicely..


Pretty baby

awww poor Masyn. I would cry too if my mean uncle Josh gave me a diaper wedgie

Passed out eating chocolate goldfish. The glutton.

xoxo