it's all about perspective

Sorry, another picture-less post. It'll be quick I promise. The next one will be of Noah's birthday with pictures AND video for your enjoyment.


I know, you're welcome.


I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this experience a couple of days ago, but then I decided that if one day I put this whole blogging nonsense into a journal I would like to have it in here.


So here goes...


Ed and I were running some errands at Wal-Mart (the very same day he fell in love with the stuffed puppy) He was returning something and I was browsing the card aisle . Noah was hungry so he was getting a bit fussy in the cart. I took him out and set him on the floor next to me since he's such a walking pro these days. No one was in the aisle with us so I didn't think it would be a problem. I kept my eye on him and he found a puppy card while I looked some more. The next thing I know a middle aged woman pushes her cart up the aisle towards us and opens by saying

" I just wanted to tell you something. I read in a reader's digest the other day that a woman was in a shopping center with her young son and turned her back for a second and he was gone. They found his a body a day later cut up in a canal."

And then she left as quickly as she had arrived. I stood there stunned. I didn't know whether to cry or yell. I remember thinking, "did some random stranger just imply that I am a bad mother?" I couldn't believe it. I really was emotionally confused about it. Ed found us shortly after and I told him about it. He could see I was upset and gave me a hug telling me it was okay. Since that day I haven't been able to get her off of my mind.

On one hand, there is the pride in me that wants to shake my fists at her and tell her to mind her own business. that I am a good mother and I was not in the wrong. I knew where he was every second and I would never let him out of my sight.


And then there's the beautiful humility(however small) I possess that tells me that even though she was quite abrupt and harsh and well, graphic about the whole thing, she really only meant to help. As of Friday I was still unsure of who I was going to let win the battle of emotions.


Until Ed and I went to see a movie that night. Seven Pounds. Haven't seen it? Great one if you are in the mood for 'crying your eyes out'. You know me and crying... so ya, I liked it. Without giving TOO much away to get my point across, there is a car accident... both loved ones and strangers are killed. It happened in an instant all because someone took their eyes off the road to look at a cell phone. I could almost feel the persons pain at having to live with the intense guilt on their conscience. And at that moment I knew how I would respond to that woman if I ever saw her again, I would give her a hug and thank her. Because nothing is more important than my family. Having one of my loved ones taken from me is my worst nightmare come true. Anything that I can do to prevent that, you can be sure I will do, whole heartedly. To tell you the truth I don't think I would be strong enough to live with guilt of that kind if I somehow had something to do with my son being taken from me. I just wouldn't.


I'm not one to tell a stranger what I think to their face. Heck I have a hard enough time doing that with people I know. So I am assuming it took some courage for that woman to come up to me and say what she did. And as blunt as it was, I know she was being very sincere in her cautions and only wanted to help.


Now does taking her advice mean that I will become more of an overprotective mother? (if that's possible) Probably. But I'm going to try hard not to let it affect my children. I love Noah with every ounce of my being and I only want the best for him. So I hope that I can find some kind of compromise of protection without over crowding him as he grows and experiences life.


Whew. Who knew this mothering thing would be so hard?? :)