my dearest Noah

Today you were particularly difficult. Destructo-boy. Everywhere you went, a mess was left in your wake. It was so exhausting! Your bedtime could not have come fast enough. I'm always telling your Dad that it's a good thing you're as cute as you are, or we would have sold you to the gypsies a long time ago.
For me, one of the biggest challenges in being a new parent, is adjusting to the inconsistency of childhood. I've expected that if I tell you not to touch something once, it will register and we won't have to talk about it again. Or that when you begin sleeping through the night, you will continue to do so for the rest of your life.
Hah.
I've quickly learned that I have expected too much from you. For one, you're still a little guy. And two, that's not how our relationship with God works either. If it was, there would hardly be a use for repentance. If we all learned our lesson the first time we would live in a much different world. As mortal beings we make plenty of mistakes ( heck, I'm still not done making all of mine.) and we all have our off days. But we have a Father in Heaven who knows what it's like to grow and learn and to experience and to be challenged. Thankfully he is also patient and kind and incredibly understanding. I want to be more like that for you.
I know one day it will click in that adorably big head of yours that if you continue to hit people, you will continue to sit on the time-out chair. That me saying "No thank you" does not in fact translate into "that was fun. Please do it again" And even that remaining still during a poopy diaper change is actually a very brilliant idea.

Here's to that day!

Love you,
Mom

and the randomness continues

Today has been one of those really good days. I think it has something to do with the go-orgeous weather right outside my window. I love spring!


Since our little destructo-boy has figured out how to make the liquid in his non-spill sippy cup come out, I have found patches of dried juice and milk all over the house. Remarkably none of it has made it's way onto my carpet. I should be grateful for this, except for the fact that I have been wanting to get rid of that carpet for months now, but a certain husband won't allow it until it really needs replacing.. All I'm saying is a big, crusty, juice stain right smack in the middle would move things along a bit...

I was tired of walking around with sticky feet and heaven forbid if any relatives stopped by and say my unsightly, icky floors. gasp what would they think of me!

So this morning I did some floor washing and my sweet Chocolate Lovely did the dishes for me. Thanks Babe. Is there anything more appealing than a man doing dishes? Oh help, I'm there! You know you've been married for awhile when you start to think that watching your husband wash the dishes is a sexy activity.

*Note to self: must get out more.

In between all of that Noah and I played Mario kart on the Wii. He brings me a controller several times a day asking me to 'play'. And oh I'm a sucker for that cute face so of course I give in. We have a good ol' time, and with all this practice I'm becoming such a pro that even Ed can't beat me! That in itself is an accomplishment. Because you see, he refers to himself as a 'Gamer' which I take to mean 'nerds who justify playing video games all day long' Well he has another thing comin' that's for sure. Look out!


I have some random pictures for you all to enjoy of.... you guessed it. Our Son. Who else would it be?

Looking all cute and small in Daddy's school backpack.

Oh those teeth. They get me every time. All spacey and cute!

Rare moment #1 captured on film. Noah playing all.by.himself.

He adores babies and little Noor got plenty of rough love from him that afternoon.

Notice his other appendage: the Wii remote. It makes him feel powerful and important. Sometimes he needs one in each hand.

He has that stink eye down pat.

Rare moment #2 : playing alone in his room. Although this lasted approximately 2 minutes, it's nice to see him gaining just a little bit of independence. I wonder if I will ever miss his little need to have me play with him all the time. And yes, I do see the junk in his trunk. He did not get that from me.

I love it when he squats and plays. Especially when he shows a little bum cleavage. It's the only time that showing a little crack is acceptable and even considered cute of all things. Why is that?

Guess who dressed me this morning?

Yup, that's right. My Dad.

He's the coolest.

We're in the middle of this lull in our home life right now. Nothing is really happening. We've just been hanging out. Going out occasionally. But mostly it's just too darn cold. I drove two blocks to the 7 Eleven the other evening and by the time I got home 5 minutes later my fingers felt like they were about to fall off. You know when they're so cold they hurt? Ya, that was my fingers. Ouch.

I feel so bad for Noah. I'm sure he feels like a caged animal. We walk the halls of our apartment building. Alot. Just to get a change of scenery. He's getting so big. A couple of weeks ago, before the cold snap, Janay and I took the kidlets to the play place in Market Mall. They loved it. Noah was particularly taken with the airplane slide. He kept lifting his little arms up to me and pumping his hands open and closed, which of course, is code for help me climb up! After awhile I got sick of that so I taught him how to climb the airplane's wing all by himself. Nicely done Mommy. Right? Not so much. The next day he was scaling everything in our house. Up until this point the thought never occurred to him to try and climb up the kitchen chairs, or the coffee table. I was thinking..."Noooooo! I had it so easy before!" Totally my fault, but just another testament to how big he is getting. I'm starting to get the question. You know... "So when are you having your second?" Hmmmm, I'll let you know when I know.

Ed and I have also been getting out with friends lately. Birthday parties, movie nights, dinner. Good times all around. Yay! We're dating each other again! It's really easy to slip into a bad habit and forget about each other and how much we need time alone. Having said that, it's nice to get out and relax without having to worry about Noah and his needs, but the whole night you feel kind of off. Like something is missing, or you've forgotten something. And always when we come home, I'm so excited to wake him up the next morning and play with him.

Speaking of that, I'll admit I'm a little worried about having a second baby. Do you love the second just as much as you did the first? Is that even possible? I'm worried that I won't be able to give the attention to Noah that he needs when I have to divide my time between 2 children. I'm sure everyone goes through the same fears. I just want some advice. What helped you when you expanded your family with a second child?

*Not that I'm expecting, I'll just use it for future reference ya know?

an update for uncle Josh

Who has nothing better to do on this blustery snowed-in day than sit at home and watch bad day time television.

Despite popular belief, our day was not that much more exciting than your own. I promise.

Today my baby brought home his first nursery picture

*tear, tear*

The usual age for nursery is 18 months, luckily the nursery leader took pity on us. But seriously. Have you met this kid?

The little ham. Sure he looks all cute and innocent. But trust me, if you were to meet us in the halls at church you would feel sorry for me too. No amount of snacks or toys can distract him. He's on a mission. To make the three hours of church feel more like three weeks. And he's extremely good at it. I'm quite a sight in a skirt and heels sprinting after a baby who is also running, full speed toward the large set of stairs that he loves to climb up and down fifty times. So fun.

I got a little teary eyed when I saw his pretty picture. His very first piece of artwork to hang on the fridge. Go ahead, say it...

Awwwwwww

Notice his attention to detail and staying in the lines with the suit jacket??

Smarty pants.

just like daddy

Noah wants to be wherever his Dad is and do whatever it is that his Dad is doing. He wants to dance like his Dad, play basketball like his Dad, and eat whatever his Dad is eating. I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight. For both of them. Sometimes I wonder just where it is that I fit in. Other than maid, chef, and incubator for nine months.

I do love to see them together though and there's nothing better than hearing the two of them laughing together over some kind of inside joke.

I love my boys.

keeping it real

I am such a stressful person. Not that I cause others stress, well actually, come to think of it I probably do. But I mean that I attract stress. You could say it's drawn to me. It's very draining. Plus I'm waaay to young to be getting crows feet and other unsightly facial lines.

The moment I'm faced with responsibility, a stress avalanche inevitably follows. Like the day our son came into the world?? Ohhh yah. It's been intense ever since. I'm terrified that if I make one wrong move, if I make even the tiniest mistake I will ruin his life. Like, forever.

After over a year of living with this fear every moment of my life, I decided I needed to kick it to the curb. Show it who's boss ya know? One of my many life changes I plan on making this year was to live more stress free. Spontaneity comes to mind. So does positive thinking and enjoying life more. Living in the moment and 'letting go' of things that are out of my control.

I can already feel the glorious release. It could all be in my head, but I feel like Noah is responding positively to the new change as well.

It's all very liberating. Like, the other day, instead of worrying about having my dishes done by the time Noah had his first nap, I played with him all. day. long.

I know. I'm that rebellious.

This is what it looked like...

But do you think I cared? Naw...
I believe Noah was thinking "C'mon Momma, this is getting a little bit ridiculous I mean, you could at least sweep" And I did. But we still had a lot of fun that day. Joy in motherhood comes in the moments right. I really believe that.

Ed has been sick for the past couple of days. It makes me grateful for all the days that he isn't under the weather. I have felt like a single mother with him being out for the count. He doesn't get sick very often, but when he does it's long and hard. It's always particularly hard for me to watch him fight off sickness. He's a man. Aren't they supposed to be strong, and muscly, and like indestructible? In any case, we could sure use your prayers that he returns to his healthy self quickly.

Noah is totally in love with water. It's because of my own insecurities that I haven't taken him to the pool yet. I have been feeling bad about this, especially when I found him like this yesterday.

He was all pruney by the time I took him out.

Who could resist this cute little face I ask you? Not me, that's who. We'll be going to the pool later on this week. He knows just what to do to make me cave.

a boy and his birthday

I'm almost 3 months late with this post, but in my defense the pictures were allll the way in Strathmore, and according to my mother, we never visit anymore. So you can see the problem.

I thought I would tribute Noah's first birthday post by writing about the day he came into our lives. In places it may be a teensy bit graphic and like, reaallly long. So I promise not to hate you if you just skip to the bottom and look at the pictures.

Friday, November 9

Due Date: November 17

I had been feeling contractions for the better part of the afternoon, but really what did I know? I had no idea what this would feel like so I chalked it up to back spasms and called it a day around 9:00. ( for the record I always knew he would come early. I just had a feeling. But let's be honest... if he had come late I would probably have said the same thing. I just really really wanted this to be over)

I couldn't really sleep because of the stupid 'back spasms'. Some would call me a little slow but at 11:00 I finally realized this was it. Kind of. Little did I know this was just the beginning. The VERY beginning. I started timing them and they were 7-10 minutes apart. I tossed and turned from excitement (pain eventually took over and that emotion quickly faded) and finally at about 4:00 in the morning I woke Ed up. He was all disorientated like he usually is at 4am and kept asking me if I was serious. No Babe, I just couldn't sleep and thought I would play a little joke on you. Of course I am serious! Who jokes about that kind of stuff?

So the contractions kept coming, inevitable I know. They got a little closer together but each one was very long and very intense. We called our prenatal instructor,who agreed to be at the birth with us, just to give her a heads up not to plan anything too interesting that day. After that we made the calls to our family. As it was already the morning of the 10th I called Wes and Amanda and asked if Jarom wouldn't mind sharing his birthday with his new cousin.

I really wanted to labour at home for as long as I could before we made our way to the hospital but once again, having never felt anything like this I was ready to go at 10:00 thinking I would get there and have this baby out before supper time. (ohhhh that is soooo funny now that I look back on it) We got there around 10:30ish and was admitted into a triage room. We met the Doctor that would be delivering Noah and I was so grateful because I had met her a couple of times at my prenatal appointments and thought she was very nice. And gentle, which was something I was really hoping to get. Once again, little did I know that "gentle" and "labor" do not belong in the same sentence together. Ever. My first experience with this was when they checked to see how far I was dilated. WHOA. Excuse me for being a tad graphic but I thought her hand was going to come out of my mouth. I had never felt so violated. With that fresh on my mind they told me that I was only 2-3 centimeters at that point. I cried as soon as they left the room. Ed had to go and fill out some paper work so there I lay. Just me and my contractions and my tears. It was a real party.

When Ed got back he talked me out of my little pity sesh and we decided to get moving to see if we could get this baby to come sooner. We took a walk and did some stairs. I felt so out of my element. Stopping to bend over or squat next to a wall when a contraction came with everyone staring at me weird as they walked past. It could have been the pain combined with the hormones in my body but I felt like snapping. I wanted to yell at them. Move it along folks! You've never seen a woman in labor before?! I'd like YOU to try and do what I am dong mister and then we'll see if you still give me that stink eye!

After the slowest hour of my life we made our way back to the triage room and stayed in the room for a while longer before they came to tell us they had a room available in L&D. We met our nurse who was totally cute and totally nice. She also totally saw me in all my naked glory while I labored on the ball in the shower. So hot.

I loved that shower. I would have stayed there the whole time if it wasn't for nazi Ed telling me I needed to try different positions to help the process go faster. (note to self, never listen to Ed again) Kidding. I love you Babe, I couldn't have done it without you. It was around 5:30 that evening that Sue, our instructor walked through the door. It was like a breath of fresh air for both Ed and I. Where Ed was all nervous to get wet from the shower, she practically jumped right in there with me saying " I wore my pants that dry really fast!" It was a nice advantage to have here there. She has 3 children of her own so she knew just where and how to push on my back during a contraction, which freed Ed up to be my verbal and emotional support up by my face. They were life savers and a terrific team.

The Doctors were constantly checking my dilation which was just as uncomfortable as the previous ones. Each time I was hoping that they would tell me it was time to push, and each time they would tell me I had only progressed minimally. At one point I was so exhausted and in pain I broke down. I was sitting on the edge of the bed sobbing. The Doctors had been asking me every time they walked in "Kevyn, is there anything else we can get for you?" Meaning, "would you like an epidural so we don't have to listen the weeping and wailing?" I said no but as soon as she left the room I told Ed and Sue that I needed it. I couldn't make it any longer. I cried for my Mom and for drugs. For 45 minutes I sat and cried and tried to convince them that I wasn't strong enough. They fought me every step of the way. Sue kept telling me, let's work through one more contraction and then we can discuss it again. She's sneaky that one. We made it through countless contractions and when the Doctor finally returned and checked me I was 9 centimeters. Hallelujah! I could hear the chorus of angels, and I knew victory and the end was in sight.

Then came the 'bad news'. I had what was called a lip of cervix. Sounds kinda nasty, I know. I sort of hate explaining it sometimes but it's part of the story and the story must go on. Basically I was instructed not to push when I felt the urge, which was pretty much every contraction and they were coming fast and hard at less than 2 minutes apart. Now for all those of you who have had children, you know that when you get that 'urge' to push. There's no stopping it. It's like... It's like... well I'm not sure what to compare it to. It's just really almost impossible. I say almost, because I had to do it. For 2 hours. It was ridiculous. Probably the worst part of the whole labour. I would have gladly had contractions for another 12 hours over having to resist pushing. They had me in all sorts of positions that defy gravity so as to help Noah stay in instead of shooting out. If I wasn't ready to scratch my eyes out, while chewing my own arm off, I probably would have thought it funny.

After what seemed like an eternity the Doctor finally gave me the go ahead to push. I nearly kissed her. I sat up, I was focused, I was ready to go, I was ready to be done... and... nothin. Not a thing. I didn't feel a single contraction! It was as if the minute they decided he could finally come out and meet us, he was like.. "oh no you di-int. We'll do this on my time." I was tired, I was sweaty, I was grumpy so I balled up all the energy I had left and I started to push. I didn't care if it was time or not, I was getting that baby out of me. It was 12:00am then. Fifty minutes later our beautiful boy was heard by all as he entered the world. He let everyone know he had arrived. Even my Mom and Mother in law down the hall in the waiting room. I remember Ed's face welling up with tears and then they placed Noah on my tummy. His hair was dark and curly, his eyes were pinched shut and his mouth was wide open with cries of protest. Perfection. 7lbs 2oz of it.

One year later, November 11th 12:50am, I sat in his room watching him sleep. He has more hair but it's still curly. He has big beautiful eyes like his Dad, but my coloring. And he still protests... loudly. But we love him anyways and couldn't imagine life without him.

His birthday was very nice. It was attended by just family which I really enjoyed. I liked how small and intimate it was. He was a champ and was so excited to have all those people adore him.

(I wonder who he inherits that from!)

And now for the pictures:

Of course, he's totally into backyardigans. Those little figurines are practically his favorite toy in the house to date.


Grandpa Prepchuk was appalled that he wasn't going to have a hand made cake so he took the liberty of making one.. or four himself. He put a lot of work and hours into making it. Thanks Grandpa!



The little Bean opening his gift from Mommy and Daddy



Some moooore gifts. He was spoiled. I think these ones were shoes from Auntie Brenda.

Auntie Janay's basketball hoop. His face says it all. Now he can be just like his Daddy

Just about to dig into the cake.

Yummmm. He didn't get all that messy, which as an OCD Mom I was very grateful for!

Oops these are a little backwards. This was just after we finished singing Happy Birthday.

I know, I know. As if we didn't have enough cake going around. We had a traditional Mexican cake as well. Sooo delish.

And finally, a little video for your viewing pleasure. I didn't get any pictures of it, but we had balloons covering the ceiling in the living room. His face at the end is priceless. He's been fascinated with balloons ever since.

Happy Birthday Big Man

a little giveaway

I have an obsession. It's all things baby. I looove looking online for the coolest new baby gear. Nursery furniture, diaper bags, strollers. Pretty much anything. I like to pretend I am filthy rich and can afford every single thing I am looking at. After I buy all of them, they would of course go in my gigantic house that I own as well. Sigh. I can dream can't I.


Ever since Noah turned one I have been feeling that 'baby itch' so my latest thing to look at is double strollers. We originally bought a crappy stroller/car seat combo when we had Noah and I really wanted to make sure we get what we pay for this time around. Ed and I have been researching the best double running strollers out there since that's what I have my heart set on. (Oh and when I say Ed, I really mean just me) :) I found this website through a friend and it was love at first sight.

http://www.bumbleride.com/collection2008/indie-twin.php

I love everything about it. Seriously. There is no breaking it down for me, it's exactly what I pictured a perfect little double stroller to be. Of course now is the hard part. Saving the money!

But tonight as I was blog surfing I came across this contest Whoo hoo! I'm crossing my fingers.... and my toes that I win! The best of luck to anyone else who triestoenter I will also hunt you down if you get it. I want it. I want it bad.

Here's the contest:

http://inevergrewup.net/giveaway-25-bumbleride-indie-stroller/

it's all about perspective

Sorry, another picture-less post. It'll be quick I promise. The next one will be of Noah's birthday with pictures AND video for your enjoyment.


I know, you're welcome.


I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this experience a couple of days ago, but then I decided that if one day I put this whole blogging nonsense into a journal I would like to have it in here.


So here goes...


Ed and I were running some errands at Wal-Mart (the very same day he fell in love with the stuffed puppy) He was returning something and I was browsing the card aisle . Noah was hungry so he was getting a bit fussy in the cart. I took him out and set him on the floor next to me since he's such a walking pro these days. No one was in the aisle with us so I didn't think it would be a problem. I kept my eye on him and he found a puppy card while I looked some more. The next thing I know a middle aged woman pushes her cart up the aisle towards us and opens by saying

" I just wanted to tell you something. I read in a reader's digest the other day that a woman was in a shopping center with her young son and turned her back for a second and he was gone. They found his a body a day later cut up in a canal."

And then she left as quickly as she had arrived. I stood there stunned. I didn't know whether to cry or yell. I remember thinking, "did some random stranger just imply that I am a bad mother?" I couldn't believe it. I really was emotionally confused about it. Ed found us shortly after and I told him about it. He could see I was upset and gave me a hug telling me it was okay. Since that day I haven't been able to get her off of my mind.

On one hand, there is the pride in me that wants to shake my fists at her and tell her to mind her own business. that I am a good mother and I was not in the wrong. I knew where he was every second and I would never let him out of my sight.


And then there's the beautiful humility(however small) I possess that tells me that even though she was quite abrupt and harsh and well, graphic about the whole thing, she really only meant to help. As of Friday I was still unsure of who I was going to let win the battle of emotions.


Until Ed and I went to see a movie that night. Seven Pounds. Haven't seen it? Great one if you are in the mood for 'crying your eyes out'. You know me and crying... so ya, I liked it. Without giving TOO much away to get my point across, there is a car accident... both loved ones and strangers are killed. It happened in an instant all because someone took their eyes off the road to look at a cell phone. I could almost feel the persons pain at having to live with the intense guilt on their conscience. And at that moment I knew how I would respond to that woman if I ever saw her again, I would give her a hug and thank her. Because nothing is more important than my family. Having one of my loved ones taken from me is my worst nightmare come true. Anything that I can do to prevent that, you can be sure I will do, whole heartedly. To tell you the truth I don't think I would be strong enough to live with guilt of that kind if I somehow had something to do with my son being taken from me. I just wouldn't.


I'm not one to tell a stranger what I think to their face. Heck I have a hard enough time doing that with people I know. So I am assuming it took some courage for that woman to come up to me and say what she did. And as blunt as it was, I know she was being very sincere in her cautions and only wanted to help.


Now does taking her advice mean that I will become more of an overprotective mother? (if that's possible) Probably. But I'm going to try hard not to let it affect my children. I love Noah with every ounce of my being and I only want the best for him. So I hope that I can find some kind of compromise of protection without over crowding him as he grows and experiences life.


Whew. Who knew this mothering thing would be so hard?? :)