a long, pictureless post - read if you dare.

Being a Mother is not for the weak, I have come to realize. It is much harder than anyone could ever explain to you. Much like labour is. No one can tell you exactly how or what that kind of pain feels like, you just have to experience it for yourself to know. Noah is entering his terrible two's. And before I didn't believe all the hype people said it was like raising two year olds. But today I became a believer. It's chaotic! And not in a good way.

Yesterday we had a bit of a break down. And when say 'we' I mean both Noah and I, but mine was slightly more shameful considering I am the adult and parent around here. I won't give you all the hilarious details, but the end result was me huddled in a corner of the bedroom with tears running down my face. I think what threw me off the most was that usually when it's just the two of us, he communicates and responds so well to patience and a soft voice. But not that day. It came out of no where and hit me hard. There was no reasoning with this little man. No sir. Today I was a bit more prepared for it and had a prayer in my heart and mind all day to stick with patience and kindness. I'm happy to report I only cried once, and it doesn't even count because it was over a Hallmark commercial I saw on TV. Mission accomplished I say. It was a small but large feat for me and I'm grateful that I had the help of our Father in Heaven throughout.

I am currently reading this book called "Mothering with Spiritual Power" and in it the author explains that although we often forget, our children are his children too. He loves them and wants the best for them much with the same intensity, if not more, than we do. So calling upon him for help in leading and guiding these little ones, His little ones, is something we should be doing daily. It also talks about forgiving ourselves as Mothers. Something I think everyone of us Mommies need to hear over and over again. We are learning on our feet every day with new challenges and steps. It's easy to slip up, lose your patience say or do something in anger and then regret it later. The hard part is forgiving ourselves of our shortcomings. The part that I took to most was when she explains that children are very forgiving and merciful, as is our Heavenly Father, but we as mothers tend to carry guilt with us long after an argument or a slip up occurs. I see this clearly in my own life. I have raised my voice to Noah who was scared and started crying. I instantly felt remorseful and apologized and he came running to me for a giant hug and kisses. Not 30 seconds later he was laughing and playing with me and his toys. I however felt horrible for the rest of the day and into the night. It wasn't until Ed and I were laying in bed that night that I told him what had happened. He held me while I cried. I felt like a failure. I felt sick at the thought of losing my patience and resorting to screaming at my son. I kept picturing his little sad face over and over. I felt bad for a few more days until I read this particular chapter where she says that it's difficult for us to be good Mother's if we are still carrying around guilt and the burden of failure on our shoulders. Anyways, I can't put it into as good of words as she can. But it inspired me. Made me want to be better and freed me of my burden of feeling guilty. I moved on and have tried my hardest not to repeat that mistake again. I won't lie and say that I've succeeded in doing so. BUT I have found it easier to move on afterwards and be the same kind of Mother I know I want to be. It's very liberating! I suggest you all try it. Forgive a little. We're most of us students in this too.


Recently I have been reflecting on some of the trials a few of my girlfriends are faced with in their lives at the moment. It's heartbreaking to watch people you love go through things that you know are hard and trying. Especially when you feel you can't do anything but be a support. But in some cases that is all someone may need. A kind word or gesture. I am surprised at how little things that people do for me change my whole attitude and outlook for the rest of the day. Tonight Ed folded and put away a whole basket full of laundry! I walked around feeling like I had just won the lottery. My spirits were lifted and I felt renewed. As funny as that sounds. I hope I can remember to be that kind of uplift for at least one person throughout my day. It could make a world of difference for someone.

As I was contemplating what I can do to lift someone that seems to be struggling I also thought, what else can I learn from this? How can I benefit my family with this new idea? Again, it is something small. It reminds me of the quote "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" I can learn to be more grateful. You know how most people make New Years resolutions? Well I am making a lifetime resolution. To be grateful for the things I have in my life. Like REALLY grateful. For instance...

I am grateful for the closet I have overflowing with dirty laundry. Because that means that if we aren't yet naked, my family has more clothing to fit their backs in a week than most people have in a lifetime.

I'm grateful that I get to make supper every night because we have an abundance of food sufficient for our family's needs.

I am grateful for our teensy, itsy bitsy apartment because we have a roof over our heads and place we call home.

I'm grateful for the blessing of having children and hearing my Sons laughter mixed in with his Dad's every night before bed, because some people are unable to experience what a miracle that is.

I could go on and on, and I'm totally getting sappy and misty eyed. But on one final note I am grateful for family and friends that make our lives full and rich and beautiful!

Goodnight.

our summer

Wow. Where to even start?

At the beginning I suppose, but it's been quite a while so don't expect this pregnant lady to remember everything. This summer actually flew by for me. One of the fastest I've ever experienced. My Mom helped to shed some light on that when she told me it was probably because I was so self-absorbed with feeling so ill all the time that by the time I got better the summer was more than half over.

Hmmmm what does one say when called self-absorbed by the woman that bore you from her womb? Ummmm thanks? Sorry? No idea. hahaha I do love my Mother and really I took no offense, because that's exactly what I was for the first 4 months. It was a nasty time. However I had my suspicions as to why this pregnancy was so vastly different from my first. That's right. I was convinced I was having a girl. I would refer to the baby as 'her' and say things like 'when she gets here..' and so on. Ed challenged me and told me he knew it was a boy. Just to spite and make our lives a little more interesting I'm sure. As the days approached our ultrasound I started to think that I was going to feel really silly if it turned out to be a boy. I had been telling everyone that I was positive it wasn't. A couple of nights before we found out, I had a dream.

Oh yes. A dream.

That I delivered a baby boy. A month early. He was tiny and had dark hair. Much like Noah did when he was born. I started to get really nervous then. Not that I didn't want a boy. I would love any baby that I was blessed with. But I had already gotten it into my head that I would be holding a sweet bundle wrapped in pink come January. PINK everyone. Oh how I wanted a closet full of and frills and bows and dresses and little white tights and, and the color pink. (which is actually spelled really weird if you look at it for a long time)

But I couldn't get this dream out of my head. I've only had one dream ever come remotely close to reality, and that was when I dreamt my sister in law was pregnant with a baby girl. And guess what? She was! I felt psychic. So if I could dream up the gender of her baby, why not mine right? Well wouldn't you know that the very next day I had a dream that the world was being attacked by zombies and people were dying all around me. So much for dreams! I walked into that ultrasound room with confidence and when it came time for her to reveal the gender of my little bump, I only held my breath for a fraction of a second before I heard her say three beautiful words. It's a girl.

Everyone say it together... awwwwwww.

I looked over at Ed who looked genuinely shocked. I think he had almost convinced himself it was a boy. I just smiled real sweet and said I told you so. Never underestimate the power of Mother's intuition.

The end.

Just kidding. I'm so excited! I can hardly wait. We only found out about a week ago and it was the day before we left on a little holiday so I hadn't had any time to shop. When we got back Ed's sister had been on her own trip to the states when she found out it was a girl so she bought two little dresses. Her very first ones! I can't stop holding them up and looking at them. Trying to imagine her in our lives, in the cute dresses. Ahhhh It's fantastic. Ed laughed at me when he saw me looking at it for the 100Th time last night before bed. It was something I did with Noah too. I would lay out his little take home outfit in his crib and try to imagine what life would be like with something so small and precious. Little did I know it is busier and more chaotic then I could have ever thought up. But it's also more fun and rewarding too. Needless to say we are excited and nervous about our expanding little family. So many adventures ahead!


I mentioned a little holiday didn't I? Well it was the best! We took off with our good friends Amber and Brad to Penticton. And get this! We left Noah. -Gasp- I know right? It was both exciting and nerve wracking for me especially. This would be the first time leaving him anywhere besides one, one night stay at my Moms house when we had a big project we wanted to get finished without a certain little someone 'helping'. It turns out I was nervous for no reason. He did wonderfully and was even weened from his soother by the time we got back. Thanks Mom!

Don't judge me. He liked his soother and I liked my sleep.

Brad's parents own a condo and a beautiful boat out there in BC. We ended up staying for 6 days and it was dare I say.. Heaven. We slept in, took the boat out every day, laughed alot, ate even more and just had a really fantastic time. I loved having that one on one time with Ed. It made me appreciate him like crazy and it was wonderful to see him able to relax and break from all his hard work.

What's a vacation without some pictures?

The beauty Noah likes to call 'Amer'. When we got home I was looking through the memory card from the trip and Noah kept demanding to see more pictures of her. I think he has a little crush. Although he's usually into blonds, so you should feel special Amer.

Being all pregnant and stuff there wasn't much for me to do but sit on the boat. Amber was a trooper and stayed with me. We soaked up some sun and cheered our talented husbands on.

We fished for all of about 10 minutes out of the whole trip. Apparently Brad doesn't have the patience he used to so after he caught a bunch of seaweed 10 minutes in he declared the fishing part of the vacation officially over. No one seemed to mind, there are much better things to do than fish you know.

Like knee boarding and wake boarding. You know, tough manly stuff. Don't you think they look tough and manly?

Ed getting ready for his first attempt at wake boarding after a brief demonstration by our instructor Brad.

He was a little nervous to start out but he caught on really quickly and didn't look back. I don't think I had ever seen him so excited about something other than basketball. He was this little Spanish fish. You couldn't get the guy out of the water!

Most of the time he looked like this.

And then there were other times when he looked like this.

They had so much fun out there and it was really neat to watch him excel at and enjoy something so quickly. Like a kid in a candy store. That was Ed. I couldn't stop smiling at him.

It was sad to head back home at the end but there was talk of making it an annual vacay. So here's to next year!

Earlier in the summer Ed celebrated his twenty eighth birthday and I my big two five! Ed threw me a surprise party with most of our wonderful friends in attendance. It was my first ever surprise party. I told him that's what I wanted months in advance. I even enlisted the help of Amber to plan it because I didn't think Ed would. Well he did, and I really was surprised! It was a couple of days before my actual birthday but he had me going the whole time. Acting all aloof like he didn't even remember that I wanted a party. I even cried that morning thinking that it was just going to be another missed surprise party. Well there you have it. My fantastic actor of a husband pulled it all off for me. My best birthday to date! Good friends, good food, good times. Let's do it again next year!

Blowing out Ed's birthday cake. Every time Noah sees a flame he says 'birthday' and insists on blowing it out. over and over. Not so fun for my scented candles.

And speaking of the little cheese ball. Isn't he a ham? I just love this kid. He keeps us on our toes and makes us laugh all the time. He adores wrestling with his Dad and is getting his little boy merit badges in the forms of bruises and scrapes all over his knees and shins. They're so cute! He has such a fun personality and his vocabulary is expanding daily.

A couple of weeks back I was straightening the house while he played. He had been grabbing at my plant in the living room, which he knows is off limits, all morning and I was getting more than a little frustrated. I had left to put some laundry away when I heard a crash. Already knowing what I was going to find I took a deep breath and counted to the customary 10 before I walked back into the living room.

I didn't say anything, just stood in the middle of the room with my hands on my hips, trying to give him my very best impression of my mom's angry eyes.

He looked at the plant, then at me, then at the plant again until he threw his little hands up in the air and said "are you kidding me?!"

How could I be mad after that?? The little phrase courtesy of his Father's road rage. He melts my heart.

Somewhere in between all of the summer activity, my little boy grew up. Into a big boy complete with a big boy bed.

Which lasted approximately less than 24 hours.

I caved at 4:00 a.m.

I was so excited for the milestone that I completely overlooked how much work it was going to be. I started thinking about how much I love my sleep, need my sleep, and so there I was in the wee hours of the morning with my screwdriver, confining my son, once again to his crib.

I just wasn't ready for it. Maybe we'll try again in a couple of months. When I'm a little older.

Well that just about recaps the highlights of the summer as far as I can remember. It's good to be back blogging again, I'm equally excited to catch up on everyone else's lives via the internet.

I'm sure you're all doing mostly what we are. Trying to settle into a schedule again, waiting for school to start. I'm always sad to see the end of summer but it also means the start of my favorite season. Fall. Mmmm I can almost hear the crunch of the leaves and smell the crisp air. I'm ready!If anyone has any good ideas about Halloween costumes or any websites I can look at for Noah please let me know. I'm having a hard time finding one that I like.

consider yourself lucky

because if we never run into each other in the next 9 months, this is the only picture of me pregnant you will ever see.

In this particular gem of a photo, I am a mere 9 weeks. That means, according to my calculations, by January I shall be roughly the size of a whale. Heaven help us.


I had such good intentions with this pregnancy. I wanted to get out and be very active this summer. Then came the nausea.

I have never known nausea like this before. At least once every five minutes I have to mentally tell myself not to throw up, not to give in to the crazy urges to hurl. And this is me on medication that is supposed to suppress said urges. In fact, not even 10 minutes ago I was brushing my teeth, preparing for bed when I thought to myself, 'I can't remember what it's like to not feel the need to constantly empty the contents of my stomach.' It's disgusting. And I am praying it ends tomorrow. I know it won't, but somehow just praying for it helps.

This is my life right now. Every food I see grosses me out, I have begged and pleaded with Ed to no longer wear deodorant or cologne and I am considering washing my hair with my soap as that seems to be the only scented thing in the shower that doesn't bother me. My shampoo must absolutely go, as well as the dish soap we currently use. Long rides in the car are SO out of the question and even turning a corner in my house too sharply is sometimes too much. The only relief I get is when I sleep. Oh how I wish I could sleep until this is over. I know this is a lot of complaining. But the reality is that even getting out of bed in the morning has become such a task that I think I shall take a short blog break for a while.

I hope this will pass sooner than later. Until then, I shall be catching up on a lot of rest and recruiting the much needed assistance of my wonderful husband.

Loves - Muah!

Oooooh, look what we did

Yes, that's right, we did the unthinkable and had Noah's hair cut. It was a spur of the moment idea and the minute we walked out of the building Ed and I were regretting it.

Why?? Why did we give in to the peer pressure? I think the straw that broke the camels back was when an anonymous source told me that Noah looked 'uncared for' with his long locks.

I'm finally coming to terms with it, but the first couple of days he looked so different it nearly broke my heart. I was debating just gluing his little curls back on, but we all know that would have been a disaster. He looks more like a little boy and less like a baby. Which really was the whole point of the appointment because.....

That's right.
Noah's going to be a big brother.
Naturally we're thrilled! I'll admit, I'm a little nervous of what this means. There's going to be an even parent/child ratio. Despite what people say.. I still remember the pains of labor. (and for the record, I don't know how you can forget something like that) But the thing I'm most worried about is running on almost zero sleep while still trying to maintain a normal home life for the rest of the family. I'm not the best person when I don't get my sleep. Things can get a little scary.
But when I think of how I felt when I first saw Noah, I know things will just work themselves out. And eventually, I'll have two kids sleeping through the night and I'll wonder what I was ever scared of.

Anyways, the baby is due in January. Which makes me just over one month along. I know it's safer to wait until the three month mark to start telling people, but I have this problem when it comes to keeping good news to myself. I just can't do it!

Already this pregnancy is different. I wasn't sick with Noah until the 6 week mark, but this baby is determined to torture me with heartburn and motion sickness like you wouldn't believe! Being in the car is the absolute worst, but even chasing Noah around the house did me in the other day. I'm not sure how women ever survived without Diclectin. It's been my life saver.
All in all, we couldn't be happier and are looking forward to everything the new year will bring!



I managed to get a little video clip of Noah during the haircut just to give you a taste of what the entire 20 minutes looked like...

Happy Mothers Day to All!

Especially my own very special and incredible mother with whom I have a wonderful and lasting friendship. You inspire me to be better, to do better and you always find the good in me. Even when I'm not always listening :) Thank you for all your efforts and years of support!

To my beautiful sisters, those with and without children. The qualities of Motherhood do not come only by having babies. Each of you is unique and very close to my heart. Thank you for your support and understanding in helping me raise my Son. It really does take a village - or in this case, a whole buncha sista's!

Love you!

busy busy

This week I'm hosting a recipe club dinner at my house so I've been cleaning and organizing and shopping like mad. It was driving Ed crazy. I mean 'was' because now that everything has finally come together (minus a few details) he is very happy with the results. We've lived in this humble little apartment for two and a half years now and just in the last week it's really started to feel like a home. It's amazing what a few throw pillows and some plants will do to brighten up a living room.

Our theme for this months recipe club is French Cuisine. It's been a real challenge to think of something that I could attempt to make. Do you want to know what my crazy mind came up with? Creme Brulee. Whew. Wish me luck. I'm doing a sample one this afternoon. Just in case I need a couple of days to rethink my food choice.

Noah was sick again. Does anyone have any idea's on how to naturally boost children's immune systems? It seems every time I turn around he's caught something someone has been walking around with. I love my little boy, but he is miserable when he's sick. Who can really blame him? I hate being sick just as much as the next guy. I'm just asking for a breather in between the bouts of illness. Plus I'm a tad worried about his little body not being able to ward off most bugs easily.

This time when he got sick we were driving on the highway, heading to a BBQ in Okotoks. It was projectile, I was trying to catch it in my bare hands, and it was disgusting. Give me a thousand dirty diapers to change and I'd gladly do it, but the puke? I have a really hard time handling that. To top it all off, we got lost shortly after that and took the longest detour in the history of really long detours. If you can imagine that. He was back to his old self quick enough and was running around the back yard like nothing had happened. But now he has this icky cough. It never ends! Please help.


And because I always like to read a post with pictures, here's some from our week:

Noah asks to play Guitar Hero at least once every day. He especially loves it when his best friend plays with him.

It would seem my husband cannot keep his eyes open for the picture.

These little beaut's are the shoes I bought for Lu Lu Bean. At least twice his size. He didn't take them off the whole afternoon.

Awww aren't cousins sooo cute?

Adorable.

Let's do a quick recap of the last couple of weeks shall we?

We've officially survived exam month which puts to rest one more year of education. It feels so nice to be that much closer to our goal of applying to Dental school. The online applications open in June and Ed will write the DAT in November. They say by December we'll know if we've been accepted. We're both nervous and excited.

I am so proud of Ed for all of the effort and work he put into his schooling which paid off when he went over and beyond what he thought he would and did fantastic during his finals. I am also grateful that he's the one with the Math smarts. Our children would be hopeless without him.

Right now we're just chilaxing at home, waiting for the warmer weather to show up, and fighting off sickness. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, let's rewind a couple of weeks.

To Easter.

This was taken at the Easter Egg Hunt that we did at Uncle Josh's house. I left the video camera at home thinking that Noah wouldn't really be into it. Well I stand corrected. He.took.off. Running down the road and through the field picking up every colorful "ball" he spotted. His bucket was starting to get so heavy we had to sneak up behind him and grab hand fulls of Easter eggs just to lighten the load a bit so he could keep going. We did a smaller hunt at home the next day but the video is long and boring so I won't share. I'm glad I didn't go overboard with the candy. I still have some hiding in my closet and no one is really interested in it. Maybe I'll send it to Amanda - I know she has a love for all things chocolatey.

Oh and excuse me, but when did my baby boy grow up?

He looks so big to me.

Worlds of difference from this wouldn't you say?

I wish I would have taken more time to kiss that adorable belly and tickle those delicious rolls. Sigh. I have a bad case of baby fever.

Oh and props to Auntie Janay for those strategically placed blocks on the floor. I'm sure one day he will thank you for the serious lack of nudie pictures we have of him.

This is what happens when you make your mother-in-law's amazing guacamole and your son uses it as body paint. (after he ate more than his fair share of course)

And this is what you do with said Son after dinner :

Chuck him in a nice soapy tub.

I love bath time pictures. They're always so happy and full of smiles. Which I am indeed grateful for since this last week Noah came down with the flu and smiling was the very last thing on his mind. We had just walked in the door from an evening walk when I look over at Ed holding Noah, both of them covered in an unpleasant, smelly muck. I immediately start dry heaving into the kitchen sink. All the while Ed is rubbing Noah's back saying calmly

"Good job buddy, get it all out. It's okay, Daddy's here"
What?!

Isn't that supposed to be my job? Isn't Ed the one that's supposed to be plugging his ears running from the room shouting that vomit makes him nauseous?

Yes well, it wasn't one of my finest moments.

And given Ed's past history with his innate need to be clean, I think he deserves a good round of applause!

Thankfully Noah bounced back to his old self this weekend and we are enjoying having a little boy in our house again instead of a crusty bear.

We celebrated Lulu Bean's 3rd birthday this month as well. Fun was had by all. I wish there were pictures to share. Noah is her number one fan and when the two of them get together it is trouble. Once they closed themselves in the bathroom when no one was looking, threw a cellphone into the toilet and started splashing around so loudly I came to see what the commotion was about. You should have seen the looks on their little faces when I flung the door open. It was priceless. Ed wasn't very amused but it still makes me laugh when I think of it. They talk on the phone a lot about who knows what and Noah throws his head back with a hearty fake laugh and pats his little protruding belly. I will try and tape it one day. It's to die for.

Since there was barely a handful of nice days these last couple of weeks we've had to make our own entertainment indoors and frankly I'm running out of ideas. This morning we listened to the 'Scatman', blew bubbles in our living room and danced in our underwear. True story. I thought of it on a whim (as you can tell) but it was a huge success. Noah kept running over to me with a big grin on his rosey little cheeks and giving me kiss after kiss. I think I won the best Mommy award for that. It motivates me to be more spontaneous and crazy. After about an hour of that we both crashed and had a nice two hour nap. Have I mentioned how much I love being a mother? And that naps are one of the best perks? ( besides dancing in your underwear that is)

I wanted to put the last picture on here to just clear a few things up...

#1. YES, we know Noah's hair is ridiculously long. He looks cute and we like it this way.

#2. NO, we are NOT planning on cutting it.

SO STOP ASKING.
thanks.

Oh and lastly this is video Auntie Janay has been requesting for awhile now. We had two different versions and the other one was cute, but I opted for the one where you can't hear Janay and I cackle with laughter. It was pretty scary stuff. So here it is, in all it's cuteness.

Enjoy!

my dearest Noah

Today you were particularly difficult. Destructo-boy. Everywhere you went, a mess was left in your wake. It was so exhausting! Your bedtime could not have come fast enough. I'm always telling your Dad that it's a good thing you're as cute as you are, or we would have sold you to the gypsies a long time ago.
For me, one of the biggest challenges in being a new parent, is adjusting to the inconsistency of childhood. I've expected that if I tell you not to touch something once, it will register and we won't have to talk about it again. Or that when you begin sleeping through the night, you will continue to do so for the rest of your life.
Hah.
I've quickly learned that I have expected too much from you. For one, you're still a little guy. And two, that's not how our relationship with God works either. If it was, there would hardly be a use for repentance. If we all learned our lesson the first time we would live in a much different world. As mortal beings we make plenty of mistakes ( heck, I'm still not done making all of mine.) and we all have our off days. But we have a Father in Heaven who knows what it's like to grow and learn and to experience and to be challenged. Thankfully he is also patient and kind and incredibly understanding. I want to be more like that for you.
I know one day it will click in that adorably big head of yours that if you continue to hit people, you will continue to sit on the time-out chair. That me saying "No thank you" does not in fact translate into "that was fun. Please do it again" And even that remaining still during a poopy diaper change is actually a very brilliant idea.

Here's to that day!

Love you,
Mom

and the randomness continues

Today has been one of those really good days. I think it has something to do with the go-orgeous weather right outside my window. I love spring!


Since our little destructo-boy has figured out how to make the liquid in his non-spill sippy cup come out, I have found patches of dried juice and milk all over the house. Remarkably none of it has made it's way onto my carpet. I should be grateful for this, except for the fact that I have been wanting to get rid of that carpet for months now, but a certain husband won't allow it until it really needs replacing.. All I'm saying is a big, crusty, juice stain right smack in the middle would move things along a bit...

I was tired of walking around with sticky feet and heaven forbid if any relatives stopped by and say my unsightly, icky floors. gasp what would they think of me!

So this morning I did some floor washing and my sweet Chocolate Lovely did the dishes for me. Thanks Babe. Is there anything more appealing than a man doing dishes? Oh help, I'm there! You know you've been married for awhile when you start to think that watching your husband wash the dishes is a sexy activity.

*Note to self: must get out more.

In between all of that Noah and I played Mario kart on the Wii. He brings me a controller several times a day asking me to 'play'. And oh I'm a sucker for that cute face so of course I give in. We have a good ol' time, and with all this practice I'm becoming such a pro that even Ed can't beat me! That in itself is an accomplishment. Because you see, he refers to himself as a 'Gamer' which I take to mean 'nerds who justify playing video games all day long' Well he has another thing comin' that's for sure. Look out!


I have some random pictures for you all to enjoy of.... you guessed it. Our Son. Who else would it be?

Looking all cute and small in Daddy's school backpack.

Oh those teeth. They get me every time. All spacey and cute!

Rare moment #1 captured on film. Noah playing all.by.himself.

He adores babies and little Noor got plenty of rough love from him that afternoon.

Notice his other appendage: the Wii remote. It makes him feel powerful and important. Sometimes he needs one in each hand.

He has that stink eye down pat.

Rare moment #2 : playing alone in his room. Although this lasted approximately 2 minutes, it's nice to see him gaining just a little bit of independence. I wonder if I will ever miss his little need to have me play with him all the time. And yes, I do see the junk in his trunk. He did not get that from me.

I love it when he squats and plays. Especially when he shows a little bum cleavage. It's the only time that showing a little crack is acceptable and even considered cute of all things. Why is that?

Guess who dressed me this morning?

Yup, that's right. My Dad.

He's the coolest.

We're in the middle of this lull in our home life right now. Nothing is really happening. We've just been hanging out. Going out occasionally. But mostly it's just too darn cold. I drove two blocks to the 7 Eleven the other evening and by the time I got home 5 minutes later my fingers felt like they were about to fall off. You know when they're so cold they hurt? Ya, that was my fingers. Ouch.

I feel so bad for Noah. I'm sure he feels like a caged animal. We walk the halls of our apartment building. Alot. Just to get a change of scenery. He's getting so big. A couple of weeks ago, before the cold snap, Janay and I took the kidlets to the play place in Market Mall. They loved it. Noah was particularly taken with the airplane slide. He kept lifting his little arms up to me and pumping his hands open and closed, which of course, is code for help me climb up! After awhile I got sick of that so I taught him how to climb the airplane's wing all by himself. Nicely done Mommy. Right? Not so much. The next day he was scaling everything in our house. Up until this point the thought never occurred to him to try and climb up the kitchen chairs, or the coffee table. I was thinking..."Noooooo! I had it so easy before!" Totally my fault, but just another testament to how big he is getting. I'm starting to get the question. You know... "So when are you having your second?" Hmmmm, I'll let you know when I know.

Ed and I have also been getting out with friends lately. Birthday parties, movie nights, dinner. Good times all around. Yay! We're dating each other again! It's really easy to slip into a bad habit and forget about each other and how much we need time alone. Having said that, it's nice to get out and relax without having to worry about Noah and his needs, but the whole night you feel kind of off. Like something is missing, or you've forgotten something. And always when we come home, I'm so excited to wake him up the next morning and play with him.

Speaking of that, I'll admit I'm a little worried about having a second baby. Do you love the second just as much as you did the first? Is that even possible? I'm worried that I won't be able to give the attention to Noah that he needs when I have to divide my time between 2 children. I'm sure everyone goes through the same fears. I just want some advice. What helped you when you expanded your family with a second child?

*Not that I'm expecting, I'll just use it for future reference ya know?